Saturday, May 11, 2019

2019 The Epic Gravel Race Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri by Captain Ahab of Team BOR







2019 The Epic Gravel Race Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri by Captain Ahab of Team BOR

Robert Bart, John Naas, Larry Lazo, and I of Team BOR planned on racing the 150 mile route.  Larry has done very well in the past in the shorter distance race and this year he decided to step it up to the 150 and ride with Mickey from the team we shall not speak of.  
The team that shall not be named
Tim Johanns and Jessie Brown planned on the 90 and David Beattie decided to ride the 90 for that same stinky team.  Our friends from Team Virtus, Chuck and Kate, were also planning on the 150, but Kate decided to wear a stinky jersey, which Chuck tells me is how she usually smells. 

Training for the Epic started months before the race.  I rode outside all winter and when I didn’t feel like freezing I rode my rollers and trainer.  Ever since I injured my Achilles years ago I haven’t been running much and have gained some weight, which makes it even harder for me to climb hills which I have never been good at.  The first year I did this race I think the elevation was over 11000 feet of climbing, which I walked a lot of.  The second year, which was rained out mid race, I felt much stronger and didn’t walk any hills and decided against the race directors advice and rode back in the storm.  I didn’t want to walk any this year either, so instead of worrying about my weight like I have done in the past, I actually decided to just focus on strength by eating well and riding hard and building muscle.  John, Jessie, and I started longish gravel rides early in the Cannonball Series and we rode one on our gravel bikes and another in the snow on our mountain bikes.  
Cannonball 1
Cannonball 2


This ride in the snow the route was frozen and the gravel bike riders gave John and I a spanking.  We were out there longer due to rolling resistance and ended up sinking in the thaw.  This started my going back and forth on what bike to ride and what tire width to run, 2.35s were just too damn slow.

 I normally flat a lot on my CX bike, the brakes suck, and the gearing crushes my legs on hill climbs.  My mountain bike although it climbs like a goat has slow rolling resistance.  I therefore decided to build a bike specifically for this race from one of my mountain bike frames.  I took one of my titanium Lynskeys and put a steel Surly rigid bike packing fork on it.  It already had Shimano XT hydro disc brakes and I decided to put a 3x10 (24-32-42/11-36) drive train on it, mainly because I had most of it laying around and wanted a granny hill climbing gear.  I used to run this set up years ago when I first started adventure racing so I knew I would have every gear I would ever need and accepted the weight penalty.  I didn’t care if I was heavy, nor my bike.  I just wanted to be strong and roll as fast as I could. 

AR bike
Robert joined Jessie, John and I in training and we started learning some valuable lessons.  During Death by Gravel, Robert and I learned that the CX bike gearing and tubed skinny tires were going to force us to walk some of the steepest hills and ride our crappy brakes down the other side.  Robert managed a flat and I ripped my derailleur off at mile 92, converted to a cranky single speed, and with a tow from Mickey was able to finish the 100 mile route.  This took my CX bike out of training and forced me to train on the Lynskey, which I now call my AR bike, or do it all bike, it’s a mountain bike, gravel bike, bikepacking bike, and an adventure racing bike. 

I started rebuilding my CX bike while training on my AR bike.  The CX bike would be my back up bike if anything went wrong while training on my other bike.  I put a gravel bike Shimano 105 derailleur on it, new hanger, new chain, and changed the gearing from 36-46/12-30 to 34-46/11-36 so I could climb steep hills.  I also failed at an attempt to make it tubeless.  I still haven’t rode it since DBG.
DBG broken CX bike

At Alto Pass I struggled to keep up with Jessie and Robert, so I knew I need to reduce my tire size.  I think, if I remember correctly, I was still running 2.35s.  Robert had switched to Kate’s old bike and promptly destroyed it.  He bent the derailleur hanger, which may have already been bent, because it looked like an S turn.  It was also was not tuned.  I managed a rough road side repair and we finished a shortened version of the ride.  Later Robert changed the hanger and I tuned it up.  I feel like I did more work on Kate’s bike than any other bike on the team.
"Robert how did you get Kate's bike beans above the frank?"

At the Double Barrel race, Jessie, Robert, and I learned a very valuable tire lesson in either we all rode through glass, or Arkansas gravel is glass, as we all flatted numerous times.  I punctured both of my brand new 2.1s, but the tubeless set up kept me rolling without any plugs.  Robert flatted Kate’s bike a couple times and Jessie almost made it until she bragged about how awesome her bikes is and then God promptly smacked her with a flat and since then a plague of flats that is still continuing to this day.  Never ever brag about not getting flats…God don’t play that!  The Double Barrel race really deserves a blog of it’s own.  It was the very best organized free race ever!  I will stop there before this becomes a blog about it, but I have to say riding home with a 12 gauge shot gun on my back will probably be the highlight of my entire year.
I won I won I won the BB gun!
Gravel the 13th was also a good donation ride.

So all this training led all of us to discuss our bike set ups and dial them in.  It led some us to lose weight, some to gain muscle, some of us to just ride more.  It gave me a lot of bike maintenance practice as I worked on Kate’s/Robert’s bike, John’s bike, Jessie’s bike, and Tim’s bike.  I kept going over questions in my mind of; did I train enough, did I train more my first year of the Epic, was I stronger than the first year I did the Epic, was I making the right bike set up choice?  I am sure everyone else was thinking the same things.  Then John slowed his training and Jessie, Robert, and I thought he probably should drop to the 90 and we convinced him to do so because of the 10 mph average speed requirement to finish the 150.  Jessie, Robert, and I were training around 13.5 mph average on rides around 60 miles.  We were hoping we would average slightly less in the 150.  I kept trying to convince Jessie that she should ride the 150 as she was training so hard and getting so strong, but she has never rode a century and has that century brain block.  We will have to get her over that demon this summer.  Robert had terrible news right before the race that he had to drop out due to a death in the family.  Now I would be riding the Epic all by my lonesome, so the last thing I did was swap my punctured 2.1s for brand new 50’s.  I was able to get one short road ride on them before the race.

Race day:  I start the race in the back and quickly jump up to mid pack.  I don’t see Larry, Mickey, Kate, or Chuck in front of me, but I figure they will be passing me anytime.  Around mile 4 Larry and Mickey pass me and I don’t really care because I knew they would be in front of me anyway.  I am racing my own race at my own pace on my own facing my own demons. 
Rolling in my duct taped frog togg looking like the Hulk
At mile 12 I see a water crossing and as I slow I see concrete and a hole under the water.  At the last second I try to jump onto the concrete to avoid the hole, but it is too late and I side swipe the concrete which rips a gigantic hole in my tire.  I try to boot it.  While I am working on it 4 more riders flat in the same water hole and some even bend their rims.  Kate and then Chuck pass.  My boot is poking out the sidewall at least an inch and a half.  I try riding on it but the bubble is hitting my chain stays and my front derailleur rips through the duct tape boot and the tube blows out.  My race is over.  I am so upset after all the training, all the money spent, all the bike building, that my race is over at mile 12. 
Boot that hole...nope!

I start trying to call my wife for pick up.  Reception is terrible or non-existent.  It’s raining and my phone won’t acknowledge my fingertips, nor will Siri listen to me.  I’m about to lose my shit and think this is an enduro rim, I’m riding it.   Riding on the rim on the flats was slow going, I couldn’t get traction to climb the hills, so I had to walk them.  Riding downhill was absolutely terrifying.  I get ahold of my wife, but we can’t understand each other.  I have 14 miles to the check point and I didn’t bring my other bike or my other tires.  I guess I will ride the rim until I find my wife or the sag Jeep, or just ride the rim all the way to the CP.  I think I will go buy a tire and ride as long as I can before they pull me off the course.  I send coordinates to my wife and she drives to them as I ride away.  She didn’t understand that I wanted her to drive the course backwards and meet me head on.  The sag Jeep finally finds me somewhere between mile 16 and 19.  I can’t remember because by this time I had lost my damn mind after almost dieing on a downhill asphalt drift. 


The Jeep guys are awesome and the Jeep is awesome and we hit it off great since I am also a Jeep guy.  I tell them about my unfortunate race and my Jeeps and they tell me about their club.  We talk about Jeeps and trails and I am just about to forget about the race and my bike falls off the bike rack.  We stop, I put it back on, and we make it to the gas station.

I lay my bike down and a bunch of people are there with broken bikes.  One team is there and has a pair of broken carbon rims. 
Their teammate broke the rims, took another team mates rims, and carried on, or something to that effect.  The teammates left behind offer up the tires on the broken rims and I snatch up the opportunity.  I grab the Panaracer tire with the most Panaracer sealant in it and put it on my rear.It has a hole in it and I plug it.  I throw the other tire in my Jeep with all the trash I just made as soon as my wife Tanya shows up.  She is looking very confused and asking me what is going on and what my intentions are.  I’m throwing trash in the Jeep and reloading tubes and CO2 into my bike bag.  She loads me up with more food, water, and Gatorade.  I ride off telling her I am going as far as I can before they pull me off the course. 
Panaracer to the rescue!
 

Now I have to make a choice.  My legs don’t feel the greatest.  I used up so much energy riding that rim and being upset.  I have to choose to ride as hard as I can for as long as I can.  I decide that I will not quit, I will not stop, I will not take pictures, I will eat and drink, and I will finish.  I keep repeating the Adventure racer motto of “relentless forward progress” which is tattooed on my good friend Kevin Minton’s arm.  I actually am picturing his tattoo in my mind as I keep reciting it.  I tell myself to keep moving forward no matter what. 

I ride alone for many miles wondering if my teammates on the 90 will pass me.  I then realize I will never see them.  I probably won’t see anyone.  I keep moving as fast as I can, but am extremely careful on water crossings.  I find Tanya at the checkpoints and again she is like a pit crew changing out my bottles and food and getting me in and out of check points in seconds.  She shoves food in my mouth and tells me how I am doing and whether she has seen any other riders.  I tell her I will probably get pulled from the course.  She tells me she thinks I am 2 hours behind.

I start seeing racers going the opposite direction so I know they already rode the Tunnel Dam loop and I am many hours behind.  I climb a crazy hill and get a beer hand out at the top which I slam down.  They guy tells me the check point will be closing soon.  I have beer in my mouth and want it out.  I am already feeling its affects and drink water and spit out the beer taste and as I go to put my water bottle back in the cage I run off the road and Superman over the bars.  I go limp and am ok.  The bike is ok.  I carry on, but decide I will be much safer as I am the last rider.

I see Larry and Mickey leaving the CP as I am entering it.  They are the entire loop ahead of me.  Tanya tops me off and I am on the loop.  Some riders warn me there are some slippery water crossings ahead.  One of my water bottles pop out on an extreme downhill and I have to skid to a stop and run back up the hill to get it.  I keep riding and pass my first rider at around mile 80.  I can’t believe I actually caught someone.  I catch another and another.  I finish the loop and feel strong.  I am proud of myself because I am eating and drinking and riding everything and I am being much more careful.  I climb out of the loop and see Tanya waiting for me at the top of the hill.  I restock and help a guy who needs chain lube.  Tanya tells me a few riders ahead of me have dropped out.  I ride on.
Massive hill climbs

I start catching and passing riders more often.  I find the beer guy again and down another, but this time I follow it immediately with water and stop quickly to put the bottle back in the cage.  I am not repeating that mistake twice.  I ride and ride and ride.  I have to stop at mile 100 to hook up my Garmin to a charger, put a tire plug in, put sun block on, pee, and put chamois cream on.  This was the longest I stopped all day.  Around mile 107 I see a Team Virtus jersey ahead.  It takes me a little while to catch him, but I can tell it’s Chuck.  He walks a hill and I am almost there.  I pass him on asphalt and he tells me we are very close to cut off.  He says we have to go 13 miles in about and hour and half to make the cut off for the next CP.  I decide I need to keep racing my race and head off.  My tire plug starts leaking and I stop to put another one in and Chuck catches me and helps me install it.  I double it up to be safe.  I leave Chuck again.  I feel like a complete dick, but I have ridden so hard for so long that I want to make cut off. 

I see a Jeep at the top of a hill and he offers me water, but tells me the CP is only 4 miles away, so I tell him I am good as I have half a bottle.  I ride 4 miles, no CP.  I ride on and pass another Jeep that tells me the CP is only 6 more miles and he has no water and neither do I.  I am now worried.  I ride and look for creeks.  I find one and load 2 bottles with creek water.  I ride and eventually find the CP, which was way longer than the Jeep guys thought.  Jeep odometers, you just wouldn’t understand.  I roll into the CP without drinking the creek water.  Kate is at the CP.  Tanya is feeding me and changing out my bottles telling me about Kate’s condition and a rider they found in the middle of the road.  Lori is asking me where Chuck is.  The whisky guy is asking me if I want whisky.  The food lady is asking me if I want food.  I tell Tanya that I passed a guy who was slumped over his handle bars, but told me he was ok, and that is probably the guy past out in the pickup bed.  I tell Lori that Chuck is ok and slightly behind me.  My head is spinning.  I leave the CP and go the wrong way 3 times before I find the route.  They are all yelling at me. Chuck rolls in.  I ride about a mile and realize I forgot my second light.

I try to ride hard, but safe.  The sun is starting to go down so I try to make ground, but feel slow.  I know I am not doing well mentally, so I force myself to eat and drink even though my stomach is locking up.  It gets dark and I can barely see.  I slow down.  I can’t afford getting hurt or flatting this close to the finish.  I figure Kate and Chuck will catch me in no time.  I have to pee so bad that I stop and pee and look for their lights.  I ride on and start watching the time versus my distance.  I am barely going to make it.  I have to keep moving as fast as I can.  I eventually make it to the road that leads to the start.  I have to pee so bad again and now I know I am going to make cut off and would rather relieve myself instead of peeing my pants in front of everyone so I stop and pee.  It is the absolute longest pee in my life.  Urine is actually crossing the road downhill and I am like how is that possible?  I keep peeing and start worrying that this pee is going to cost me finishing on time.  Jeeps and trucks have been passing me for a long time in the opposite direction and I know they are picking riders up.  Finally the pee stops flowing and I ride the last mile to the finish.  I’m listening for music, or people, looking for lights, but I cross the finish line in the dark and in silence until I hear a few cheers from my wife and Team BOR teammates that waited for me, Steve Fuller, David Beattie, and Jessie Brown.  Steve grabbed my bike as I grabbed a beer.  We talked and put my gear away.  We told the race directors that there was no way they would pull Chuck and Kate from the course and they should be finishing soon.  We wait for them to finish and then head back to our hotel room where I immediately get shaky and sick to my stomach.  I take a shower to clean up and then soak in the tub while trying to hold back vomit.  I don’t vomit.  I finished on time, only lost 6-9 miles, and didn’t vomit.  Epic.

Congratulations to all my Team BOR teammates for finishing their Epic mileage.


Captain Ahab